Learning to Listen to Myself (Again)

Years and years ago I learned about something called The Body Compass exercise. This was taught to me when I went through the life coaching program run by Martha Beck (she’s got a PhD in sociology, writes a column in O Magazine, and has had multiple best-selling books, but mostly she’s just awesome), and although I believed in it strongly, and even taught it to many people, I didn’t use it all that much myself.

That’s changing, and I think it’s an excellent addition to my daily practice.

Here’s the deal with this exercise: You get quiet, pay attention to your body, and check in for signs of discomfort and/or lightness and openness. You feel around for tightness in your neck and shoulders, an open, relaxed feeling in your chest or stomach, any nervous butterflies, and on and on throughout your body. You give that feeling a rating, from -10 (you’re about to be eaten alive by radioactive lobsters and the song Achey, Breaky Heart is playing in the background) to +10 (you just won the lottery, a year’s supply of dark chocolate, and found out your book is being published). You can even be at plain old 0, which is just neutral.

After you’ve completed this, think about something on your to do list. See how the body reacts (it may be subtle). Does just thinking about cleaning out the hamster cages at work make your neck tighten? Does the thought of going off to live in the woods make your heart feel open?

Your body is talking to you. Always, always, always. It’s a much more competent leader than your mind, which is constantly concerned about impressing other people, soothing other people, making sure you’re socially acceptable, and preventing you from being weird in any way, shape or form. Your body doesn’t do that. Your body wants to connect you to your purpose. To what will make you feel alive and happy.

The thing is, it’s freaking hard to do. It’s not hard to hear what your body is saying, at least not after some practice, but it’s hard to follow through, because your mind will be screaming, “NO! DON’T DO THAT! NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU!” or something else very scary.

I was reminded of The Body Compass when I was listening to a Martha Beck webinar on the 5 Paths to Your Soul’s Purpose. I immediately felt connected to this practice, and wanted to start doing it again right away. Since then, I’ve used it for everything from deciding whether or not to paint or write, whether to nap or take a walk, and whether a house was right for us or not (we’re unsuccessfully house hunting).

I want to be the type of person who listens to myself (the body part of myself, not the mind part) all the time, but it’s going to take a while to get there. For instance, I recently took a part time job with a non-profit I used to work for, something that’s very, very flexible and can mostly been done from home, and it’s a great fit. However, I had to sit inside for a number of hours for a training session last week. Although much of the training was quite interesting, there were certain times when I just wanted to get up and stretch or even leave the room and go outside in the sunshine for a while. My body was telling me to do one thing, my mind was telling me to do another. I listened to my mind, not my body. Because I’m not there yet, where I can just do exactly what feels right.

Many of you probably struggle with the same thing–you’re in the meeting from hell and don’t want to be there, but your mind says you have to stay because, well, just because, dammit! Usually we’re not even aware of what our minds are telling us, because it’s so ingrained in us that we “have” to follow the rules. You don’t want to be rude, you don’t want to get fired, you don’t want to upset people, you don’t want to be made fun of.

Like I said, though, I’d like to be the kind of person who just gets up in the middle of a training and goes outside. To really, truly listen to my body. I know this sounds crazy, but I’m starting to believe that to follow my purpose, and the path that will lead me to the happiest, most fulfilling life, I’m going to have to do some stuff that is going to make some (a lot?) of people think I’m weird.

And with that, I’d like to tell you that in addition to all the art I share here, I’m going to start doing more writing on what I’ve just spend the last 700+ words talking about. Not just following your body, but how to go toward the things in life that feel good and away from what feels bad, even if it’s a little bit at a time. As much as I intend for art to be a big part of my life and business, I’ve realized that I’m a writer and teacher as well, and I have to incorporate them all in to feel satisfied.

Art Lately

This piece has been a long time in the making. It’s small, just 5×7″, and I’m not even entirely sure it’s done, but as of today it’s hanging in a local coffee shop, so it’s done for now! I call it Magical Forest.

Depending on how long you’ve been following me, you may remember my obsessive hand lettering phase. Though I don’t think I’ll go back to that for good, lately I’ve been pretty possessed by the idea of creating things that say how I’m feeling and what I want to keep at the top of my mind. Here’s an example, and it’s not something I’m selling, it’s something I made and hung up in my bedroom so I’d see it every day.

This one is for a friend, and I had a lot of fun making it.

I’ll be back in two weeks with a fun announcement!

XO