3 Ways to Let Go of Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts. The bane of human existence. I mean, without them we’d all feel pretty good all the time, right?

When you’re rolling along having a glorious day, it’s likely there’s not a negative thought on your horizon. You’re in the moment, you’re noticing nature (or a piece of chocolate cake, or the cute person next to you), and worries about the future or sadness about the past just aren’t in your awareness.

Until they are. All of a sudden, something happens. You see a news story that upsets you. You get a phone call that knocks you off balance. You walk by a store and can’t afford the jacket in the window.

Boom. Negative thoughts swirl through your mind and you can’t let them go. Luckily, you have a choice.

The inner peace circle

I drew a little picture for you to illustrate how negative thoughts invade your day and how you can let them go (or not).

You’re in a good place. Maybe it’s first thing in the morning and nothing has come along to upset your apple cart yet, or maybe you just had a great meeting at work. Whatever it is, you’re in a calm state of mind.

Until.

Until some event happens in the outside world. Like I said, could be a news story, could be a call from your dad. Your mind likely isn’t great at staying in a calm, confident place, so there are probably hundreds if not thousands of outside circumstances that will knock it off balance.

And that’s what happens next. It’s not the experience that’s made your peace go away, it’s your thoughts about that experience.

Your mind is going to either completely freak out about how this occurrence will affect your life in the future, or it will start thinking about all the other things that happened in your life that were just like this and what a horrible screw up you are.

And then you have a choice.

You have choices

Choice one is to let go of the negative thought. I know, you wanted instructions, which I’ll get to in a second, but it’s important to know that this is absolutely, 100% A CHOICE. (You have lots of choices in life, actually.)

You can stop, notice, and become aware of the fact that a negative thought has invaded your brain and that it’s up to you to let it go. Once you’ve become aware, you can let that thought go. You can choose to move on. You can come back to the present moment, when nothing particularly horrible is happening (unless you have a rabid squirrel in your office, in which case, RUN!).

Or there’s the other choice. The one that most of us make most of the time. You can get attached to the thought. You can believe the thought. You can become so completely immersed in the thought that you’re no longer even paying attention to what’s happening right in front of you. If you’re not in the present, it means you’re in the past or future, probably simmering about that time your sister stole your boyfriend and/or worrying about the next time she does it.

This is not a positive way to live, people.

How to Let Go of Negative Thoughts

Let’s say you’ve decided that, yes, you want to be able to let the thoughts float by instead of getting so attached to them that you’re a sniveling mess the rest of the day, fretting over what it’s going to be like when your kids leave for college and no one needs you anymore (and your kids are still in diapers).

Here’s how you do it:

#1 Make the conscious choice that you don’t want to hold onto or obsess over negative thoughts

Yes, you have a choice. Yes, you have to make it every single time you have a negative thought until it becomes a solid habit. Yes it’s easier to think negative thoughts, but wouldn’t you rather feel better? Yes.

Say to yourself right now, “I’m choosing to let go of negative thoughts.”

Did you say it? Good. Now start living it.

When you start to feel anxious or angry, sad or worried, you know it’s because the negative thoughts train is pulling into the station. Now is the time to stop and notice what that thought or cluster of thoughts is.

#2 Look at the thought instead of becoming it

Your normal course of action is probably to become so completely involved with the thought that there’s no “Sally” at all anymore (anyone here named Sally?). You don’t exist. You’re trapped, you’re stuck, you’re on that train and someone has cut the brake line.

Unless.

You learn to observe the thought. Look at it. Take even half a second to say, “I see that my mind is getting really, really worked up over the way Janice just talked to me about my eyebrows.”

See? Now that you’ve noticed the thought, some small part of you knows you are not the thought. It doesn’t not control you. You are separate from it.

Get into your body any way you can

Your mind is where the thoughts live, your body is where the truth lives. I wrote a whole article about getting into your body, but if you want the quick version, focus on how your body feels rather than what your mind is saying. Does your chest feel open and relaxed? Are your shoulders up to your ears while you sit in your stress-hunch? Your body is talking to you.

You can also simply pay attention to your breath for 30 seconds.  Or learn the inner body meditation (it’s free down below, so go sign up for it). Or do any other exercise you’ve ever learned to get into your body and out of your head.

#make peace with imperfection

You are not going to be able to let go of negative thoughts overnight. You are going to have to practice. Sometimes you’ll be better at it than others.

The important thing to remember is that the more you’re able to let go of negative thoughts, the better your life will be. You’ll make room to hear your intuition. You’ll be nicer to your friends and family. You’ll sleep better. You’ll be a better co-worker.

This is work, yes, but the alternative is so much grumpier. And, of course, I have a little something that might help, and that’s the 14 day Art + Soul Challenge.

Make some time for you, make some time for presence, make some time for letting go of negative thoughts!