Four Ways to Create the Life You Want

Are you longing to create the life you want? The one you really dream of? I get it.

HOW I GOT OUT OF A LIFE I DIDN’t WANT

Twelve years ago I had a good job. Okay, it was a terrible job, at least for me, but it looked good on paper. Health insurance, benefits, spreadsheets, the whole she-bang.

I cried every weekend, including the weekend after I started the job–and it had only been a three-day work week. I knew there was going to be trouble. 

By about six months in, I was highly miserable, but I had found a teensy, tiny little pocket of sunshine in my otherwise grey day (literally: my office had no windows). I started making art out of office supplies and blogging about it.

Around this time I was inspired to write an article titled “Creating the Life I Want.” I submitted it to WNC Woman, a local publication, and to my delight, they accepted it. I would link to it here, but the link on their website is broken and the only version I have of it is a badly photocopied PDF version.

Back then I wrote about how finding the space to be creative again was just what my soul wanted, and how I had faith that with time I’d find the right job for me.

Just a few months after that article was published, I quit that job. I signed up for a life coaching program, and off I went on a new adventure.

WALKING THE PATH TO PURPOSE

There have been plenty of ups and downs since, but man, I’m definitely getting closer and closer to molding the exact life I dream of. 

And what does the life I want to create now look like?

I know that I want to retire my husband. He has a physical job and I’d like for him to be home and free to garden and hang with our kiddo.

I know that I want to keep helping people learn that they have the answers inside them and that following their heart is always going to lead them where they want to go.

I know I want to travel with my family (ahem, when we can actually travel again).

I want to spend a lot of time with my inner voice and teach other people how to hear their own.

My dream life includes walking my own path, fulfilling my own purpose. It includes spending lots of time outside and eating lots of chocolate and reading lots of books. I don’t want to have every detail figured out, because that’s not something I can control.

But I do know how far I’ve come. From thinking I had to work for someone else and be stuck in an office all day to working for myself from home. From believing there was a “right” way to do things and I had to please others to realizing that the only way to live a truly hand-crafted life was to listen to my own internal compass.

FOUR StepS TO CREaTE THE LIFE YOU WANT (BASED ON MORE THAN A DECADE OF EXPERIMENTING)

#1 Get your mind out of the way

Repeat after me: Your mind has no freaking idea what the real you wants or how to get it. Your mind is a beautiful thing…when you need to write down complicated directions or balance your checkbook. If you’re not doing long division, though, your mind is pretty useless, and here’s why: It’s conditioned.

Your mind has been shaped and molded by eons of cultural and familial obligations and fears. If you’ve ever told yourself “I can’t do that, I’m a man of honor,” “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” “My family will be disappointed in me” or “I can’t leave the house without makeup,” then you know what I’m talking about.

The forces that shaped your mind weren’t intentionally trying to take you off your path or make your life miserable, they were just going along with all of the societal obligations passed down to them. Your parents told you college was essential because they were told the same thing. Your teachers scoffed at the idea of starting your own Kittens N’ Kombucha store because they had their own dreams crushed at one point or another.

Your mind, your thoughts, they’re not your own. All minds are filled with fear. All minds think we have to do things a certain way. If you want to create the life you want, the one that will truly fulfill your soul, you need to stop listening to what the mind has to say. (Want to a watch a video on this topic? Here ya go)

#2 Listen to your heart, soul, and Intuition Instead

Guys! Even if you’re not religious, even if you’re a scientist, you probably wouldn’t be reading this blog post if you didn’t have some sort of inkling that you were meant for something else.

Where does that inkling come from? Inside you!!! Call it your soul, your essence, your spirit, your essential self, your intuition, your inner voice, just name it and start listening to it. 

Unless you’re a robot, reading this in the future from the world you now rule, you have a unique set of interests, things you’re good at, and things you’re meant to do in this lifetime. Please start listening to what your heart wants.

How do you do this? Well, you can check out this post on how to write to your intuition, read this post about checking in with your body, or have an inner voice session with me.

#3 JUST DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING

Here’s a secret I really, really want you to know: You do not need to upend your entire life right this second in order to create the life you want. You don’t need to tell off your boss, you don’t need to leave your family, you don’t need to sell all of your belongings and move to Nepal.

Here’s what you do, instead: Check in with your intuition. Ask it what to do next, like in the next ten minutes. Do that thing. Your intuition isn’t going to give you the five year plan. It’s going to tell you to pick up the phone and call that friend you haven’t seen since college, even if that makes no sense to you. It’s going to have you listen to that podcast, or sign up for that class.

Just do the next right thing. You can build the life of your dreams one tiny step at a time. 

#4 REPEAT

Whenever you feel yourself going down the rabbit hole of “I hate my life and I don’t know what I want,” repeat the steps above.

Get out of your mind and stop listening to the garbage its spewing.

Check in with your true self, AKA your intuition/heart/soul.

Do the next teeny, tiny thing it asks you to do, even if that means taking a nap. You can always ask for further instructions when you wake up.

You really and truly can create your dream life.  You just have to look inside. I did it this way and you can, too.