Life as a Creative Kid
Art and creativity were a part of my life when I was a kid, full stop.
I loved art class and even took AP Art my junior and senior years of high school (betcha didn’t even know that existed!). Weekends meant taking art classes for fun. I drew and colored all the time. I made my boyfriend a giant rainbow heart composed of lifesavers stuck to a piece of poster board. You know why hard candy isn’t used in art? It attracts ants.
I was creative and I let it flow, pretty much all the time.
The problem was, I didn’t have much confidence and was sure I’d never be able to make a living as an artist. So I played it small. I wasn’t brave enough to apply to art school. Instead, I went to a regular public school, and I chose to study art education, a major that was art-related but not what I truly wanted. Later, I switched to an even less inspiring major, graphic design.
Life as a Not So Creative Adult
During and after college I worked at a newspaper designing ads. You know, for car dealers and landscaping companies. Not the stuff dreams are made of. A few months after I finished college, September 11th happened. At that point, I realized I wanted to leave Connecticut and see some of the world.
I wouldn’t give up that time in my life for anything; I lived in Vermont and worked at a ski lodge, I drove cross country and lived in Montana for a couple of months, and I traveled with my boyfriend and lived in a tent in places all around the south.
Eventually I settled down and got a job, this time at a hotel. I won’t give you my whole work history, but art and creativity mostly went by the wayside. Much later, I ended up getting a Master’s degree, this one in Health Sciences & Health Education. After I had my daughter a few months later, I simply couldn’t make myself go back to working at my terrible, soul-wrenching job. (Yes, that was an extreme privilege; things were tight financially, but we were able to do it, for which I am eternally thankful.)
Creativity Found Me When I Wasn’t Looking
After leaving my job I tried doing some health coaching, but after about a year and a half I’d had enough. It just wasn’t the right fit. One day, things got interesting: I saw an Instagram post featuring some beautiful artwork with words on it, and my body felt jolted, as if I had been struck by a bolt of lightning. I even texted a friend of mine and told her I needed to start creating art again, and for my 36th birthday a few weeks later, she bought me some tiny little canvases and a couple of calligraphy pens from Michael’s.
My start in the art world was slow and I found myself giving up many, many times before I was brave enough to give it my all. These days, I’m a working artist who sells artwork and teaches classes and couldn’t be happier in my role. My life now feels completely different. My life was rejuvenated by creativity. Here’s how.
1. Creativity gave me something that was just mine
Even before I became a mom, I felt like I didn’t do anything that was just for me. Sure, I had that obsessive dieting and exercising phase, and I thought I was doing something positive for myself (nope), but there wasn’t much in my life that I did just for the joy of it. I always liked reading, and writing in my journal, but still, those weren’t things that felt like they gave me anything back, they were just sort of there to fill the time.
After I became a mom, and a full time stay at home mom at that, I didn’t feel like I was doing anything that was just for me. My life revolved around my beautiful daughter. Feeding her, teaching her, keeping her alive. When I saw that Instagram post and felt that jolt of recognition, it was clear there was something calling to me. Once I got in the groove of painting regularly, I felt like I was home and that I had something that was for me and only me.
2. Painting gave me relief from anxiety and worry
I’ve written about this before, but painting and creating just makes me plain feel better. Almost without exception, when I’m in my studio painting, I feel relaxed. I feel free from the obligations of life and parenting. Even if you don’t think of yourself as a painter or artist, exactly, I feel confident there’s something creative that you could be doing that will help take you out of the worry zone and into the present moment.
Do you like cooking? Sewing? Dancing? Painting your fingernails? I truly believe we were all meant to do something creative, even if it isn’t the traditional artist or musician route.
I can’t overstate how much better my life is with painting in it, and encourage you to find your own flowy, blissed out creative activity.
3. Making stuff made me feel like myself again
In the spring of 2017 I was getting ready to go back to school. Again. I’d applied to another Master’s program to become a school counselor. I like kids, counseling seems like a natural fit for my personality, and having summers off would, I hoped, keep me from that trapped feeling I had with every previous job.
I’d been accepted to the program, but right away I had serious reservations. My heart and soul knew it wasn’t the right direction for me, but my mind kept trying to convince me it was right. My daughter was just about three and could start the local preschool in the fall; she’d start kindergarten when I started my first counseling job.
It all felt…wrong. It wasn’t what I’d pictured for myself or my family. I felt lost and untethered. I tried to convince myself I could still make art in the summers and in the between times, but something kept nagging at me.
One day I was taking a walk and listening to a podcast with my one of my favorite authors and spiritual teachers, Martha Beck. I can’t remember the specifics of what she said, but the interview reminded me that only I knew what was right for me, and that listening to my deepest self would never lead me astray–but doing what I thought I should because of cultural or societal pressures certainly would.
After that walk I decided not to go back to school and called to tell the preschool I wouldn’t be sending my daughter that fall. I also started wearing earrings again. That sounds weird, right? Well, I used to wear multiple earrings in each ear, all different studs, but I’d stopped doing that somewhere along the way. I’d almost stopped expressing myself entirely, I guess.
My Life As a Creative
It took a while, and it’s hard to put into words, but following what felt right, and resuming the creativity that had been bubbling inside me my whole life, made me feel whole again. I felt like Jen again. I don’t think I’ll ever stuff my creativity down again. It’s a part of me that needs to come out, and the consequences of squelching it are pretty awful.
Give yourself this gift. Let yourself express your true nature. Let yourself play and make messes and get dirty. Be the you you’ve been craving. Need a little extra help? This guide and mini class will get you in touch with that quiet, creative place inside you.