Twelve years ago, I started a job that ultimately was a very, very poor fit for me. I lasted there for less than two years, and though I can remember the overall vibe of being at that job, I remember very, very few of the specifics.
And that’s the truth about most things that happen in our lives: We don’t remember them.
In fact, I bet it’s getting even worse now, as we’re constantly distracted by social media, constantly-updated news sites, work emails, and texts. I’ve found myself in a heightened state of alert and anxiety, and when I check in on why that is, it’s because I’m distracted and my attention is all over the place.
The solution to this is to stop and pay attention to one thing at a time. In fact, I recently heard meditation defined as simply paying attention to one thing. You don’t need a formal meditation practice, though, to benefit from this, you just need to slow down and, should I say it one more time? Pay attention to one thing at a time.
What You Pay Attention to Is Your Life
If you’re constantly scattered, your quality of life will suffer. Similarly, if you focus on only the things going wrong in your life, you’ll think your life is going nowhere.
However, if you can learn to focus on one thing at a time, and at times make that singular focus on the positive things in your life, then the quality of your life will improve dramatically.
You’re already likely to forget most of the bits and pieces of your experience on this earth, but if you want to get the most out of it, both in what you remember and how you feel, all you have to do (ha, I make it sound so simple), is pay attention to one thing at a time and, at least some of the time, make that attention go toward the good things. What you focus on IS your life.
How to Pay Attention The Right Way
Add a specific paying attention practice to your day.
Right now, as I’m writing this, I’m pausing to focus on all of the parts of my body that are touching the chair and the ground. I’m feeling the sense of being held up, of being supported. It’s very, very relaxing. Something as simple as this, done several times throughout the day, is a wonderful place to start.
You can also add a specific meditation practice if you wish, but this is about finding manageable ways throughout the day to focus on one thing and stop your mind from running in a thousand directions.
Commit to naming the good things.
If you want to feel like your life is going well, then name the things that are going well! This can be you saying them out loud every time you notice something pleasing (look at that beautiful tree! oh my gosh, that dog is so cute!) or writing down ten good things each night. It can be keeping a formal gratitude journal or telling your best friend the three best things that happened today. It can be whatever works for you.
Calling This What It Is: Returning to the Present Moment
Almost all suffering is caused by living outside of the moment: ruminating over the things that went wrong in the past or stressing over things that will go wrong in the future. Pay attention to one thing and one thing only brings you back to the now.
This is one of the reasons I make art. It gives me a singular, joyful focus. I believe owning a piece of original art that calls to you, whether it’s one of mine or someone else’s, can also have the effect of bringing you into the moment, especially if you decide that when you look at the piece, you’ll take a moment to breathe and be entirely in the moment with it.
For more on mindfulness through creativity, try this zentangle activity. You’ll be added to my list and be the first to hear about new works available.